It's been a few days since my last posting here and I figured I could do one today since I have a few moments.
So, it's been over 2 months since I lost my sister, Aamber, and I would have thought the simple passage of time would make things better. But, it seems, it doesn't.
One of the good things about being a Gemini is the ability to look at both sides of almost any issue including yourself. I know that in the last few weeks I've been sliding into a nasty depression. One minute I'm doing fine, laughing and joking with Mike and the next I'm face down on my bed crying.
This past week has been the worst. I haven't been able to be in a 'good mood' for very long and the other night Mike and I went to see the advanced screening of Flight Plan and I was actually getting very pissed off by simply sitting on the MAX and doing nothing. Noone was annoying me I was just getting pissed.
We saw the movie, it was alright...at least worth a free rental, and on the way home I had to fight the urge to breakdown and cry but when we got home I couldn't keep it together anymore and cried for about an hour.
I don't recommend that. It starts to hurt after the first half hour.
Thing is, I used to be able to hide for hours in my Comic Books and that worked fine. Now, I don't have most of my collectiong with me and I've found I haven't the intense interest in them I once had. I know this is due to sadness or depression or whatever you want to call it. I find some release with them though and still enjoy collecting them.
It's just a weird feeling, being sad almost all the time, and I'm looking forward to when it starts to ease and fade some. I know it won't go away completely but it would be nice to have some solid good feelings in me again.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Cindy Sheehan
Yeah, I'm sure everyone knows this woman. Her story, in a nutshell, is her son joined the military and was killed more than a year ago in Iraq while fighting for and defending freedom. Now, thanks to the left leaning media in our country, she has gotten a free ride to the front page and main story of the news across the nation.
She started by protesting outside PRESIDENT Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas demanding the President meet with her...AGAIN.
She's been made the hero of those weak-kneed anti war people for no good reason. See, I look at it this way: The media and the liberals in this country have been trying to convice the rest of us that this war is wrong. So far they have failed at it because they havne't got much in the way of facts and actual reality.
Mother Sheehan is not the best person to put on this pedistal. If she had a reason to do what she's doing that is one thing, and like many others, I do realize she lost her son in a war that, let's be honest, nobody wants but is long overdue, but the fact is regardless of that it gives her no right or special place in the world to make such stupid demands of our President. She's flat out DEMANDED that we leave Iraq so the terrorists cna claim victory there.
This woman has called out President a lying bastard, she's said the biggest terrorist in the world is George W. Bush and one of her 'fans' has written a letter to a newspaper and said they would be happy if Osamah Bin Laden came to America and slit Bush's throat.
This is wrong.
I'm sick of this and I'll be the first to tell Mother Sheehan she needs to stop disrespecting her sons memory and his bravery by making a royal ass of herself. She claims PRESIDENT Bush killed her son by sending him off to war. I guess she forget he joined out VOLUNTARY military. She also forgot the whole purpose of the military: To go places and destroy things and kill people. It's a tool used by our leader to protect whats right in this world. Her son made the choice to join that elite group of Americans and as sad as it is he paid the ultimate price. It that wrong? Hell no. See, I have unlimited respect for our military and those who have fallen in battle should be honored, not disrespected like this or lied about like Michael Moore and his brain dead ilk have done.
It used to be if you spoke in the way these maggots are speaking now during war time, they would be considered traitors and silenced as communists. I'm thinking it's time we go back to those days. All this crap about descent being patriotic needs to be stopped as well. It's bullshit. Where was this new form of patriotism in the 90's? Where was Michael Moore when then President Bill Clinton bombed Iraq?
All I'm trying to say here is people like Mother Sheehan need to realize the people in the military KNEW they could be sent off to war and anyone who says different is either fooling themselves or tremendously stupid. The best way to honor our fallen Brave Soldiers is not by protesting the war and calling otu PRESIDENT a murderer or liar, it's by remembering them and honoring their CHOICE to join the most elite military in the world so they could defend "human freedom against...ruthless terrorist organization(s) determined to rule the world."
It's sad her son is dead, but the things she is saying about our PRESIDENT more than a year later, and after she's already met with him once are uncalled for and make her a prime target for honest criticism.
She started by protesting outside PRESIDENT Bush's ranch in Crawford, Texas demanding the President meet with her...AGAIN.
She's been made the hero of those weak-kneed anti war people for no good reason. See, I look at it this way: The media and the liberals in this country have been trying to convice the rest of us that this war is wrong. So far they have failed at it because they havne't got much in the way of facts and actual reality.
Mother Sheehan is not the best person to put on this pedistal. If she had a reason to do what she's doing that is one thing, and like many others, I do realize she lost her son in a war that, let's be honest, nobody wants but is long overdue, but the fact is regardless of that it gives her no right or special place in the world to make such stupid demands of our President. She's flat out DEMANDED that we leave Iraq so the terrorists cna claim victory there.
This woman has called out President a lying bastard, she's said the biggest terrorist in the world is George W. Bush and one of her 'fans' has written a letter to a newspaper and said they would be happy if Osamah Bin Laden came to America and slit Bush's throat.
This is wrong.
I'm sick of this and I'll be the first to tell Mother Sheehan she needs to stop disrespecting her sons memory and his bravery by making a royal ass of herself. She claims PRESIDENT Bush killed her son by sending him off to war. I guess she forget he joined out VOLUNTARY military. She also forgot the whole purpose of the military: To go places and destroy things and kill people. It's a tool used by our leader to protect whats right in this world. Her son made the choice to join that elite group of Americans and as sad as it is he paid the ultimate price. It that wrong? Hell no. See, I have unlimited respect for our military and those who have fallen in battle should be honored, not disrespected like this or lied about like Michael Moore and his brain dead ilk have done.
It used to be if you spoke in the way these maggots are speaking now during war time, they would be considered traitors and silenced as communists. I'm thinking it's time we go back to those days. All this crap about descent being patriotic needs to be stopped as well. It's bullshit. Where was this new form of patriotism in the 90's? Where was Michael Moore when then President Bill Clinton bombed Iraq?
All I'm trying to say here is people like Mother Sheehan need to realize the people in the military KNEW they could be sent off to war and anyone who says different is either fooling themselves or tremendously stupid. The best way to honor our fallen Brave Soldiers is not by protesting the war and calling otu PRESIDENT a murderer or liar, it's by remembering them and honoring their CHOICE to join the most elite military in the world so they could defend "human freedom against...ruthless terrorist organization(s) determined to rule the world."
It's sad her son is dead, but the things she is saying about our PRESIDENT more than a year later, and after she's already met with him once are uncalled for and make her a prime target for honest criticism.
Monday, September 19, 2005
PULL YOUR PANTS UP!!
Did I miss something? Was there an email I didn't recieve?
What I'm talking about are these people who walk around with their pants hanging off their asses, showing their nasty underwear to the world and thinking it looks good. Half of these people have faces I don't want to have to look at much less their freakin' underwear!
On top of that, I've seen these retards who don't understand that the waist of your pants goes around YOUR WAIST actually laugh at someone who has different colored hair or wears spikes or something, hell, I've even been laughed at for my fauxhawk by someone who can't remember to pull his damned pants up.
What makes this even dumber and the people who do this even more retarded is I've seen some of these morons hang their pants to low they have to have their hands in their pockets or have to hold onto their pants so they don't fall the rest of that way off. The dumbest thing I've seen was one idiot with his pants around his thighs, holding on to them so they wont fall the rest of the way off and this brainiac WAS WEARING A BELT!
What in the blue hell is the point in wearing a belt?! You realize that th efunction of a belt is to keep your pants from falling off? If they are halfway there already I'd say you've wasted your money on them!
My point is this: Pull your freakin pants up, you retarded monkeys, nobody thinks it's cool or hot. You have no idea how sad it looks when some guy is holding his pants up in the mall while trying to hit on some brainless mall rat chick.
The thing that scares me most about this is people like this would probably hook up and the brainless mall rat chick will end up pregnant and have a kid with the combined stupidity of the parents!
What I'm talking about are these people who walk around with their pants hanging off their asses, showing their nasty underwear to the world and thinking it looks good. Half of these people have faces I don't want to have to look at much less their freakin' underwear!
On top of that, I've seen these retards who don't understand that the waist of your pants goes around YOUR WAIST actually laugh at someone who has different colored hair or wears spikes or something, hell, I've even been laughed at for my fauxhawk by someone who can't remember to pull his damned pants up.
What makes this even dumber and the people who do this even more retarded is I've seen some of these morons hang their pants to low they have to have their hands in their pockets or have to hold onto their pants so they don't fall the rest of that way off. The dumbest thing I've seen was one idiot with his pants around his thighs, holding on to them so they wont fall the rest of the way off and this brainiac WAS WEARING A BELT!
What in the blue hell is the point in wearing a belt?! You realize that th efunction of a belt is to keep your pants from falling off? If they are halfway there already I'd say you've wasted your money on them!
My point is this: Pull your freakin pants up, you retarded monkeys, nobody thinks it's cool or hot. You have no idea how sad it looks when some guy is holding his pants up in the mall while trying to hit on some brainless mall rat chick.
The thing that scares me most about this is people like this would probably hook up and the brainless mall rat chick will end up pregnant and have a kid with the combined stupidity of the parents!
Friday, September 09, 2005
PAYDAY
Today is that wonderful day called PAYDAY!
Of course most of my check is going to rent but that's fine, it means I will be caught up in that department and can start trudging towards the future.
This weekend Mike and I are planning to go first to this tattoo place we read about and check on the price for the tattoo I want to get, the one Aamber designed and had placed on her back. I'm figuring I will get the price first, then save up the funds and get it done whenever I have the cash for it.
Then, I'm going to try to get contacts before Halloween! There is a place in the mall I work in that offers the exame and one pair of lenses for $88! That would be most excellent!
It's looking like the summer months have come to an end here in Portland, the weather for the next few days is 60's and rain, POSSIBLE thunderstorms. Out here thunderstorm means more rain than normal and one half a rumble of thunder. Oh, how I miss those nasty storms of the mid-west!
Of course most of my check is going to rent but that's fine, it means I will be caught up in that department and can start trudging towards the future.
This weekend Mike and I are planning to go first to this tattoo place we read about and check on the price for the tattoo I want to get, the one Aamber designed and had placed on her back. I'm figuring I will get the price first, then save up the funds and get it done whenever I have the cash for it.
Then, I'm going to try to get contacts before Halloween! There is a place in the mall I work in that offers the exame and one pair of lenses for $88! That would be most excellent!
It's looking like the summer months have come to an end here in Portland, the weather for the next few days is 60's and rain, POSSIBLE thunderstorms. Out here thunderstorm means more rain than normal and one half a rumble of thunder. Oh, how I miss those nasty storms of the mid-west!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
No title
I'm sure I don't have to come up with a title for each and every post I do here but I feel like I should put something up there.
I called and talked to my Dad yesterday. I had gotten something in the mail I wanted to forward to him, but more importantly it was nice to talk to him. It's weird, I've always felt really close to him but ever since Aamber passed away I feel like I'm a bit closer, if that's even possible.
I know a lot of people I'm friends with don't understand my relationship with him but to me it's simple: He's my Dad and I love him. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, trust me on this, but he's never let me doubt for a single second that he loves me. He's let me make my own decisions, good or bad, and was there for me when the bad happened and let me know I was doing good when the good happened.
I know I'm not the perfect person in the world but I know I'm not all bad becuase I was raised by my Father. Even though I've never had any of "the talks" I knew enough and was raised to have enough sense not to do anything really stupid. For example: I'm 30 years old and have never been high on any kind of illegal drug.
I'm also not the father of any bastard children.
In this sense I'm a little torn, I mean, I know my place is where I consider home and that is here in Portland, but I feel I should be there with my Dad if for nothing else than to just be there if he needs me for anything. I know he understands why I'm not in Jackson anymore and I'm glad he respects that. I know he would love for me to move back to Jackson but I know he understands it's time for me to do something on my own and I have unlimited respect for that.
The only thing I can do now is call him as often as I can or even try writing one of those letter things, you know, with pen and paper and send it in the mail? Those are odd things considering email is all the rage.
Well, I'm almost out of time, once again, so I would just like to say, even though my Dad will probably never read this, I want to say for all my internet buddies to read: I love and very much respect my Dad!!!
I called and talked to my Dad yesterday. I had gotten something in the mail I wanted to forward to him, but more importantly it was nice to talk to him. It's weird, I've always felt really close to him but ever since Aamber passed away I feel like I'm a bit closer, if that's even possible.
I know a lot of people I'm friends with don't understand my relationship with him but to me it's simple: He's my Dad and I love him. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, trust me on this, but he's never let me doubt for a single second that he loves me. He's let me make my own decisions, good or bad, and was there for me when the bad happened and let me know I was doing good when the good happened.
I know I'm not the perfect person in the world but I know I'm not all bad becuase I was raised by my Father. Even though I've never had any of "the talks" I knew enough and was raised to have enough sense not to do anything really stupid. For example: I'm 30 years old and have never been high on any kind of illegal drug.
I'm also not the father of any bastard children.
In this sense I'm a little torn, I mean, I know my place is where I consider home and that is here in Portland, but I feel I should be there with my Dad if for nothing else than to just be there if he needs me for anything. I know he understands why I'm not in Jackson anymore and I'm glad he respects that. I know he would love for me to move back to Jackson but I know he understands it's time for me to do something on my own and I have unlimited respect for that.
The only thing I can do now is call him as often as I can or even try writing one of those letter things, you know, with pen and paper and send it in the mail? Those are odd things considering email is all the rage.
Well, I'm almost out of time, once again, so I would just like to say, even though my Dad will probably never read this, I want to say for all my internet buddies to read: I love and very much respect my Dad!!!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Randomness
It's been a nice few days, I think I've gone almost a week without some sort of a 'breakdown' which is kind of nice, I'm guessing this means I'm finally coming to terms with things now.
Today I don't work until 6P which means I have about half an hour before I have to hop the MAX and head in. It's weird working so late and for only 3 hours...
So, since we had a whole day pretty much, Mike and I went out and got some single use cameras (the Rite Aid had a 2 for 1 sale on them) and started taking some pictures around town. We travelled to the Pearl District, which is Portland code for "rich part of town" and relaxed for a bit at this cool park there. We looked for this apartment building Mike found out about that actually has pretty cheap rent, even less than what we are paying now which rocks and found it smack dab in the Pearl!
Things keep flowing and we may end up in a Deluxe Apartment in the Sky, heh.
Basically we are looking for a place where we would have some extra room for next summer cause we want to start dragging some people out here to visit!!!
Today I don't work until 6P which means I have about half an hour before I have to hop the MAX and head in. It's weird working so late and for only 3 hours...
So, since we had a whole day pretty much, Mike and I went out and got some single use cameras (the Rite Aid had a 2 for 1 sale on them) and started taking some pictures around town. We travelled to the Pearl District, which is Portland code for "rich part of town" and relaxed for a bit at this cool park there. We looked for this apartment building Mike found out about that actually has pretty cheap rent, even less than what we are paying now which rocks and found it smack dab in the Pearl!
Things keep flowing and we may end up in a Deluxe Apartment in the Sky, heh.
Basically we are looking for a place where we would have some extra room for next summer cause we want to start dragging some people out here to visit!!!
Friday, September 02, 2005
Hurricane of Politics
As everyone knows by now, a horrible Hurrican hit our great nation and a lot of lives, homes and well, everything was lost. New Orleans no longer exists, basically.
What suprises me about this is the utter disregard for humanity people of certain political leanings have during all this. Michael Moore shot out a letter show no concern for those affected by the storm, rather he would use his time and effort to further trash our President. I find it sick and sad that not even during a time like this our leaders and those with the loudest voices cannot do anything more than to use this as yet another chance to trash and bash our President. It's times like this that we should rally behind our President, regardless of political leanings, regardless if we agree with him on other things or not. We are talking about the lives of our Fellow Americans here.
I'm sure mistakes are and will be made but the time for that discussion is much later. Now we must focus on helping those in need.
I would also like to add, on a personal note, that YOU, Michael Moore, are a sick and pathetic person. To make such remarks at a time like this proves nothing more than the fact you only care for yourself and keeping your fat ass in the papers.
Another reason you, sir, are an Asshole.
What else....
I'm trying to be careful about what I put in this thing because the thing I want to vent the most about now is still a very touchy subject. But, I'm patient, I can wait until things are settled.
HOWEVER, I'm NOT going to wait to say this: IF YOU ARE LIVING, WORKING, AND SPENDING AMERICAN MONEY YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK ENGLISH!! I am damned sick and tired of trying to talk to people who don't speak English! And don't give me that "you should learn spanish or whatever, because it will open new doors for you" fuck that, when I last looked at my money is said the United States of AMERICA, not the collective stupidity of lazy bastards who are mostly here ILLEGALLY. You want to live in this nation LEARN OUR LANGUAGE AND OBEY OUR LAWS.
Crap, I'm outta time, but this is something I need to vent out and this is the perfect place to do it.
Thanks for watching!
What suprises me about this is the utter disregard for humanity people of certain political leanings have during all this. Michael Moore shot out a letter show no concern for those affected by the storm, rather he would use his time and effort to further trash our President. I find it sick and sad that not even during a time like this our leaders and those with the loudest voices cannot do anything more than to use this as yet another chance to trash and bash our President. It's times like this that we should rally behind our President, regardless of political leanings, regardless if we agree with him on other things or not. We are talking about the lives of our Fellow Americans here.
I'm sure mistakes are and will be made but the time for that discussion is much later. Now we must focus on helping those in need.
I would also like to add, on a personal note, that YOU, Michael Moore, are a sick and pathetic person. To make such remarks at a time like this proves nothing more than the fact you only care for yourself and keeping your fat ass in the papers.
Another reason you, sir, are an Asshole.
What else....
I'm trying to be careful about what I put in this thing because the thing I want to vent the most about now is still a very touchy subject. But, I'm patient, I can wait until things are settled.
HOWEVER, I'm NOT going to wait to say this: IF YOU ARE LIVING, WORKING, AND SPENDING AMERICAN MONEY YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK ENGLISH!! I am damned sick and tired of trying to talk to people who don't speak English! And don't give me that "you should learn spanish or whatever, because it will open new doors for you" fuck that, when I last looked at my money is said the United States of AMERICA, not the collective stupidity of lazy bastards who are mostly here ILLEGALLY. You want to live in this nation LEARN OUR LANGUAGE AND OBEY OUR LAWS.
Crap, I'm outta time, but this is something I need to vent out and this is the perfect place to do it.
Thanks for watching!
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