What a difference a year makes

This week marks one full year that I have been doing this blog. It's run through my opinions, rants, feelings, hopes, blah blah blah but one thing I've noticed is truely, what a difference a year makes.
I've been thinking about Aamber a lot lately. Mostly at night when I lay down to try and get some sleep, something that has been increasingly difficult. I sit in the dark and stare off into it thinking about how my life is going to go without her. Then I close my eyes and try to sleep only to have the vision of her laying in that damned box pop up in my mind like some hellish mental billboard. I've had to have some sort of music or something play every night so my mind is distracted enough that I may sleep.
I'm not sure Mike likes that at all since there really isnt 'another room' he can go to to sleep. It sucks but at least he seems to understand what is going on.
I've tried to keep my moods in check as well, it's a unique thing for me to have this amount of depression or sadness or whatever you want to call it, I'm not at all used to going from content or happy to being in a basic bad mood and not wanting anyone around me. I've tried to distract myself with things like my Comic Books and DVDs but even those are lacking these days. But at least I know what I'm going through, I can see it and I know enough to know not to sink into some lame assed deep depression, drink and all that crap. I've seen the effects of deep depression on someone and I won't do that to myself.
It's easy to fall into but very difficult to climb out of.

So, I guess I'll take the next year and try to come to terms with things and keep myself out of that hole.